Monday, January 25, 2010


Another grey, rainy day in Ukuleletown. It's late in the evening and I'm restless so I decide to head over to Lenny's Bar and Grill for a Rye and Ginger and some cheap talk.

It's kinda quite when I stroll in, not many patrons for a Friday night. I grab a seat at the bar and Lenny pours my libation. I look over my shoulder at the empty stage in the corner and raise one eyebrow in question to Lenny.

"Ach.." he says, polishing a shot glass, "I hired someone to come in and play some ukulele and sing but I had ta chase 'em out when they started..."

Again with the questioning look on my part. "Well," Lenny continued, "I wanted a Musician and I got a 'performer'". He said "performer" like he was spitting it out.

"What's the diff?" I asked, trying to decide if there were too many ice cubes in my drink.

"The diff is..." he explained, "that dis gal was more innerested in dressing to the nines, dishin' some funny lines an' playin' goofy, slightly sexy songs."

Again with the questioning eyebrow on my part.

"...but she couldn't sing or play." Lenny explained. "I ain't got nothin' against a good performance, but it has to be built on solid musicianship, right?"

I shrug and say, "but now you ain't got nobody to play to this massive crowd..."

Now it's Lenny's turn to give ME the eyebrow. "This ain't no off-Broadway theater. I don't hire Actors...I hire musicians."

"Yeah," I say, "You gotta point, an' it's your place." Lenny grins and I add, "So...'nother drink, an' not so much ice this time..."


Anonymous said...

What kind of rye was it?

Craig said...

Old Overholt. None of them damn new boutique Ryes...

Anonymous said...

aaaah yes, a real rye, nothing like it.

(and don't try to pass off none of that corn mash)

Ron Hale said...

I'll bet it was AP. Nice call, Lenny. Wait a bit, could have been JN. Jaaaaaaaa, way too many in that cult. Lenny, pour yourself one on me, no make it two. Good on ya, mate.

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